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Wedding Tips
My
daughter Lizz' wedding was 18 months in planning. She got engaged
on Christmas Day 2001 and moved to England in June of 2002. Before she
left we bought the gown, found the DJ, found the Florist, booked the
site, found the photographer and started the invitation list.
Charlie and Lizz got married on August 8, 2003 in Hopewell
Junction, NY and it was a wonderful, happy day.
In the
planning process and the actual wedding we did discover
things about weddings that you can't find in any of the
books.
My intent is not to try and duplicate items that are already in Bridal
and Wedding Planning books but rather to share the knowledge we gained
as we went through the process. It doesn't matter what type of
Wedding you are planning or what your budget is, this page is intended to give you some tips on ways to save
money, how to include everything in your budget, how to pick the perfect
gown, even how to get last minute wrinkles out of your dress, and much more. I really thought it would be fun and helpful to
share this with you.
If you
have a tip to share please contact
Sherry and I'll be happy to add it.
Click on any of the topics below to see the tip.
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General
Advice and Money Saving Tips
The
Headcount
Decorations
and Favors
Volume Discounts
Friday Night
Weddings
Photography
Packages
Combine
Services
Reception
Site
Hotel
Rooms
Thank You Notes
Your budget
Save
the Date Notices
Postage
Honoree
Gifts
Pets
Hair/Makeup/Nails
Mother
of the Bride Dress
Favors
Wedding Programs
Entertaining
Disposable Cameras
Honeymoon
Clothing
Feeding the Help
The Bridal Outfit
Comfort
The
Train
Accessories
Fittings
Veil
Shoes
Saving
Money
Your Gift Registry
Notification
Updates
Price
Range
Internet Access
Multiple
Registries
Your Rehearsal
What
to Bring
Who's in Charge
Walking
Down the Aisle
Duties
Your
Bouquet
Reception Line
Copy of the Ceremony
Getting
Dressed
Attendant Help
Wrinkles
The
Flowers
Be
Specific
Check
Them
Floral Decorations
The
Photographer/DJ/Band
Written
Lists
Introductions
The Photographer
Music
Selections
The
Reception
The
Tossing Bouquet
Special
Performances
Multi
Events
Air
Conditioning
After
Parties
Scented
Candles
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1.
General Advice and Money Saving Tips
 | Headcount-The
biggest money saver I know about.
Usually one week before the wedding you have to give your
caterer a final headcount. This is the amount of
people you will have to pay for. Always tell them 15-20%
fewer people than you expect. (You can always add people back
in). We had definite "yeses" from 82 people.
I told the caterer we had 78 definite guests. Well that
week we had 12 people drop out due to illness, death, and other
circumstances. We paid for 8 people that weren't there,
that translated into over $1000.
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| Make
your own Decorations and Favors If you are in the
least bit "crafty" make as many of the decorations and
favors as you can. Lizz had butterflies as her theme.
I found wooden shapes that looked like butterflies and painted
them in her colors, attached them to wooden plant stakes and
they were put in all the centerpieces. Saved me a great
deal of money! I also bought wooden
"pocketfuls" and painted them myself with the same
butterfly theme and used the backs of them as place cards with
the names of the guests and their table number.
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| Ask for Volume Discounts When I was shopping for items to put into the
"pocketfuls" I asked for volume discounts and received
them. The heart shaped soaps I bought were normally $.70
each but I got them for $.40 The same with the bookmarks
and wild flower seed packets. At worst people will say,
"no" but if you don't ask you don't give them the
chance to say, "yes" and everything adds up.
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| Consider a
Friday Night Wedding This is a great way to save money.
Reception sites, DJ's, Photographers all charge less on a Friday
night. Take advantage of it. If you let people know
about your wedding far enough in advance they can manage to take
the day off.
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| Create
your own Photography Package When Lizz and Charlie found the
photographer they wanted I went with them to discuss money.
We looked at all the packages they offered and found all of them
gave more than we wanted so we created our own package,
"The Butterfly Package" which completely suits our
needs and saved money by cutting down on photo's we didn't
really want.
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| Combine
DJ and Photography Services We found that by using a
photographer and DJ from the same company they gave a really
large discount.
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| The Reception
Site-Look for a place that will include "Extras".
At the site Lizz and Charlie selected the Wedding Cake, Flowers
for the tables, piano, Limo for 3 hours, all Drinks, Champagne
Toast, Ceremony site, Cocktail Hour and free room for the Bride
and Groom were all included in the price per person. It
saved a lot of
money. Return
to top
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| Hotel for
Out of Town Guests Most hotels will give a special rate for
weddings if you hold 10 or more rooms. You are under no
obligation to pay for the rooms but your guests will pay a much
lower rate and often the Bride and Groom are given a free room
for their Wedding Night. Many hotels also include breakfast in
the cost of the room and this can save money for your guests and
the cost of the day after brunch.
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| Thank You
Notes with Pictures Think twice. Lizz ordered her
thank you notes to come with a wedding picture. We are
still waiting for the proofs. Once we do get them (soon I
hope) we have to select one and then wait for them to be
processed in quantity. It will be impossible to get the
notes out for at least 4 months. If this does happen to
you get the company to give you the blank notes so at
least you can write them out in advance and then just insert the
picture and mail them.
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2.
Your budget.
Each and every wedding is so special and so
unique. You have to find the style that makes you
comfortable. Every wedding does have one thing in common though, the
budget. You have to figure out just how much you have to spend and what
the wedding you choose is going to cost you. While every planning book
does seem to have a budget guide I found that all of them left out so many items
that add up so quickly. Here are some items we had to spend money on that
were not in any of the books.
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Save the Date
notifications-a wonderful thing to do 6-8 months before
the wedding to make sure people don't make other plans and will
be available for your special day. Whether you make them yourself or
buy them they do cost money and mailing them costs too.
Sherry's Keepsakes makes affordable, hand
painted Save the Date Magnets that can be put right on the fridge so people
will not forget your special day. Click here
to see them.
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Postage -mailing
out your invitations and response cards costs money. Also your Thank You
notes cost money to send. Don't forget to include
it. Return to top of page
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Honoree Gifts
- do you plan on giving your officiate a special gift? How
about the winner of the "Anniversary Dance" (so common
at weddings now)? We gave out special bottles of Champagne with the
bride and groom's names and the wedding date printed on the label.
They cost
money!
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Pet Boarding-
we have a very affectionate, excitable dog. We decided rather than
have her "get in the way" the day of the wedding and run the risk
of jumping up on the gowns and veils we would put her in a kennel for the
day and night of the wedding. That costs
money!
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Hair/Makeup/Nails-The
Bride and perhaps the Mother of the Bride will probably have their hair and make-up
done on the day of the wedding. My daughter went for a massage
early that day. Then there are the nails and perhaps a leg waxing.
They all cost money. And don't forget the "trial" hair do's
which also cost and should be included in your wedding
budget.
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Mother of the
Bride's Dress-If the parents of the bride are paying for the wedding,
Mom be sure and include the cost of your dress, assuming you will be
buying something new for this very special day. Also include your accessories:
shoes, bag,
etc.
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Favors-Are you
going to give "favors" to your guest to take home to
remember your special day? They can be expensive and we didn't find
them in any budget form. Sherry's
Keepsakes has affordable, hand painted favors that your guests will
love and some double as place cards. Click
here to see them. Return to top of page
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Wedding Programs-
Even though I made mine on the computer therefore not spending money
with the invitation company I still had to have them printed, collated, and
buy the tassels. All money
spent!
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Entertaining
your Out of Town Guests- are you going to be entertaining before
and after the wedding? We brought in Chinese food one night for 15 out
of town guests and had cold cuts another night....it added
up.
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Disposable Cameras
- we had a camera on each table for the guests to take pictures (this
was in addition to the professional photographer). I was able to find
some that fit my daughter's butterfly theme at a relatively low price but
then there was also the developing of the film. It came to over
$100. Was it worth it? Definitely! Just be sure to include that
cost in your budget.
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Honeymoon clothes-
will the bride and groom need special or new clothes for their
honeymoon? Ours did and they cost
money. Return
to top of page
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| Feeding
the Help-If you are having a catered affair where you pay a
set amount per person please don't forget that you have to feed the
Photographer, the Assistant, the DJ or Emcee or the Band.
You will be charged. We had to pay half price for 4 people
and this was not found on any budget
form. Return to top of page |
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3.
Selecting the
Perfect Wedding Gown Some of this applies to the MOB too.
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Feel
Comfortable-this is the most important tip I can give you. Feel comfortable in your gown.
My daughter made four trips
to the Bridal Salon before she selected her gown. The first time she tried
on about 7 gowns and got tired but she did pick one. The next time she
tried on another 7 including the one she picked the first time. So it
went with each trip. By the fourth time it was down to three
gowns but the choice was obvious....when she put on the dress she had first
selected she stood differently, she walked differently and she smiled at
herself in the mirror. It was her! It made her happy and
because it did it made her look even more beautiful than she is. Don't let
anyone pressure you into buying something that you don't feel right in. Return
to top of page
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| The
Train-Consider a gown without a
train or
with a removable train. My daughter knew that she didn't want a train
on her gown, it just isn't her. For the rest of you think about the
train very carefully before you buy.
At your reception you are going to want to
dance. Bustling of a train can take a long time and your bridal party
will have to learn how to do it and it does come apart easily. We were
at a wedding where the gown had been beautifully bustled but during the
inevitable Conga Line someone pulled on it and there stood the Bride in
tears, all that work and it had come apart. She had to leave her
wedding for another half hour while it was re-bustled.
When buying your gown, if you are considering a train, make them bustle it
before you buy to see what it will look like. Does it make you look misshapen?
That is not how you want to look on your very special day.
They now make gowns with removable trains which may be the perfect option for
you. Ask to see them. Return to top
of page
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| Accessories-
Buy your bra,
slip, shoes, and veil at the same time you buy your gown. It will save dragging
the gown back to make sure it all works together (and a wedding gown is
heavy.) Return to top
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| Gown Fittings-make that
first
appointment for alterations just as soon as you can and be sure to wear
the shoes and undergarments that you will wear the day of your
wedding. Make sure that when they do all the pinning that you can
move. Practice dancing and remember the Bride will generally have to
walk backwards!
Your Second appointment- again wear your shoes and undergarments and
move. Practice your bouquet toss. Practice dancing.
Third appointment- may or may not be necessary. For us it
was! Lizz tried on her dress two weeks before the wedding and was
showing me what the First Dance was going to look like. She almost
fell over backwards; she was standing on the hem of her dress. We were
lucky to get an appointment the next day and they shortened her dress in the
back so she could dance. We didn't think of practicing dancing
backwards at the previous fittings. Return to top of page
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Veil and Headpiece- make them
separate. If you want to keep your tiara or other headpiece on
throughout the reception make sure you can do so without having to keep on
your veil as well. Either buy them as separate pieces or pick one
where the headpiece is attached by Velcro and can easily be removed. Return
to top
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Shoes- you're going to be
spending many hours in the shoes you select so make sure they are
comfortable. And please, wear them at home for at least two weeks
before the wedding to break them in. (You can cover them with big socks so
they won't get dirty.) My daughter didn't listen and two days before
the wedding we had to run around to buy other shoes that were exactly the
same height.
Buy "shoe scuffs". They are the little rubber soles
that you attach to the bottom of your new shoes so you won't slip and fall
on a smooth floor or carpeting. You can buy them at most
"novelty" stores or shoe stores.
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Saving
Money- Find out when the store you are shopping at is going to have a
sale, they all do you know, and buy your dress at that time. We saved 40% on
Lizz' gown. Return to top |
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5. The Rehearsal
This is really an exciting time, just a day or two before your wedding.
More than just a lovely dinner though this should be the time to make sure your
ceremony will go just the way you want it to.
| What to Bring- Your
practice bouquet, the cake cutter, Toasting Flutes, Programs,
special gifts to be handed out, place cards, table cameras,
favors and anything else that will be needed for the wedding
that you can leave the day before. Return
to top
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| Who's in Charge?-Make sure one person is in
charge with a plan for your rehearsal or else you're liable to
have everyone talking at once and it will take twice as long as
it should. Return to top
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| Walking Down the Aisle-Rehearse who will walk when and to where. (After watching them we decided
to have the Flower Girls aged 3 and 6 sit in the front row with their
parents during the ceremony) after walking down the aisle. It
really worked. They didn't get fidgety and were ready to walk back up the
aisle when the time came. Decide where the Best Man and
Groom will stand. Return to top
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| Duties-Make sure the Ushers/Groomsmen know where the Wedding Programs are so they
can hand them out. Make sure they know of any special people to be seated in particular
places. Are you having a runner? Who will unroll it and who will be
the first one to walk on it? Will your Bridesmaids be
doing anything special? Have them practice. If the
flower girls are going to carry baskets have them
practice. Return to top
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| Your Bouquet-Bring that ribbon bouquet you have from your shower and carry it. Decide
who will hold it while the ceremony takes place. (Lizz had the Matron of
Honor and Bridesmaid sprinkling rose petals in a circle around the Bride and
Groom so the Bride's Dude wound up holding all the
bouquets. Return to Top
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| Reception Line-Know where your reception line will be and decide who will be in it.
Perhaps your Guest Book can be beyond the end of the line so
your guests can sign it. Return to
Top
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| Copy of the Ceremony-Most officiates will not come to the actual rehearsal so make sure they
get a copy of the ceremony, if you have written your own, before the wedding
day. Return to top |
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6. Getting Dressed
| Help
from Attendants. Make sure your attendants are dressed
before you are so they are free to help you. Make sure your attendants are put in
a room close by so they can help you get dressed. Lizz
and Charlie had the ceremony and reception at a lovely, old
Country Inn. Unfortunately her attendants were put in a
different wing of the hotel and when it was time for Lizz to put
on her gown they were not there to help her. The
Photographer's assistant and I got her dressed. Return
to Top
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| Wrinkles- This
is a great tip I got from the lady at the Bridal Salon and it
really works. If there are any wrinkles in the gown spray
it about an hour before the wedding with a mist of odorless,
clear, hairspray. Gently pull on the wrinkle to smooth it
out and then let the hairspray dry. The wrinkle is
gone. This also works great if you have a bouffant dress,
just give the whole skirt a light misting, shape the skirt
gently and let dry. Return to Top |
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7.
The Flowers
| Be Specific-
Our flower girls were from out of town and could not get to the
florist until two days before the wedding. Lizz wanted
very simple floral wreaths for their hair with ribbons down the
back to coordinate the wedding colors she had chosen. We
went to the florist with the girls and she measured their heads.
On the day of the wedding there were two head wreaths made out
of baby's breath. Although very pretty it was not what
Lizz had planned on. We had not talked about specific flowers
that were to be used in the wreaths. We did not see pictures of
the flowers the florist planned on using. A lesson to be
learned!
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| Check Them-Most likely the Florist will deliver your flowers to
wherever you are having the ceremony. Take the time to
look at them carefully and make sure they are all there.
Our florist arrived with two big boxes and gave them to me.
I only glanced at them and saw bouquets and boutonnières.
The photographer was calling us for pictures and the flowers sat
on the side. One of the Groomsmen's boutonnière was
missing. Although the florist ran back and made another
one (it always was in the contract) it did cause confusion as
the Photographer couldn't take pictures of the Groom and his
wedding party until it arrived and the general plan had to be
changed and that only caused stress which definitely was not
wanted nor needed. (whew)
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| Floral
Decorations-Double check all the floral decorations before
the ceremony. Take 3 minutes and just run in and have a
look before your guests arrive. Usually the florist will do the
decorations about 2 hours before the ceremony so there will be
time to correct any errors.
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8.
The Photographer, DJ and
Band
| Written
Lists-Give them written lists of what you want. Most
DJ's, Photographers, etc will ask you for
written lists of special songs you want played, group
pictures, etc. If they don't ask make sure you give them
one anyway, at least two weeks before the wedding.
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| Introductions-
Give your Emcee a written list of Introductions and special
names you want announced. You're standing outside the
reception hall waiting to be introduced and your Emcee doesn't
know who anyone is. So you stand there writing names on a
napkin. How much easier to type up a list of the names and
send it to him. List all the people you want introduced
including the name of the Best Man who will be giving the first
toast and any other names or events you want the Emcee to
announce. Return to top
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| Your
Photographer- He or she is a very important part of your
wedding since they will capture the images for you to remember.
Make sure the they know who is in which side of the
wedding party. Lizz did something quite unusual. One
of her very dearest friends, Gus, happens to be a man.
Lizz still wanted him to be one of her attendants so she
called him the "Brides Dude." Well, the
photographer started taking pictures of the flower girls and the
Matron of Honor and the Brides Maid with Lizz and the assistant
wouldn't let Gus in the room because, she insisted , he had to
photographed with the Groom's attendants. She just
wouldn't listen and made a convenient assumption. I
managed to straighten it out but, by that time the Photographer
was photographing the Grooms attendants and had to stop
and go back and redo the Bride's attendants over again, this
time including The Bride's Dude. A total waste of time and at a
wedding, time is money. Return to top
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| Music
Selections- Whether you have a DJ, a Band, or do it yourself
it is more than likely that you will have music at your
reception. Plan on a variety of music so that all your
guests will be able to relate to something being played.
Lizz loves Techno. I love Sinatra. Charlie loves
Rap. The DJ played them all. There was a "Lindy"
for the older folks a Cha Cha, The Twist and during the
meal the volume was turned down so that people could converse
with each other. Variety is the spice of life when
it comes to music and your guests will really appreciate
it.
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| 9.
The Reception
It doesn't matter if your reception is a sit down dinner, cocktails,
at a fancy hall, or a backyard, there are certain things that are
just as important no matter where it is.
| The
Tossing Bouquet-Make sure the Maid/Matron of Honor know
where it is. At Lizz' wedding no one knew that the
tossing bouquet had been placed next to the cake and when she
was called up to throw the bouquet everyone had to stand around
while we frantically searched for it. Even though it was
only about 2 minutes it seemed like forever!
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| Special
Performances My brother is a professional song writer and
one of his gifts to Lizz and Charlie was to sing a song written
just for them. We had known about this for some time and
made sure that the piano at the reception had been tuned.
Everything was fine except when they positioned the piano they
had it facing the wrong way and my brother had to sing and play
with his back to the audience. Make sure you have enough
microphones too. Return to top
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| Multi
Events- If your reception site has more than one event going
on the same time, make sure you will not have to share
your Maitre'D. While our wedding reception was going on
there was also a big rehearsal dinner for the wedding the
following day. Our Maitre'D was running back and
forth between them. It was fortunate that we didn't
need him for anything. Return to top
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| The
Air-Conditioning and Heating Find out, before the
event who and where the controls for the air-conditioning are.
It got so cold during Lizz' reception and it took about 5
minutes to find out that the bartender could turn it down.
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| After
Parties If at all possible arrange the after party at
the same location as people will be staying so that they will
not have to drive after drinking.
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| Scented
Candles and Soaps- If candles will be burning on the tables
make sure they are unscented or that is all you will smell.
If scented soaps are your wedding favors make sure they
are wrapped in plastic so the odor doesn't take over the room. Return
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